Welcome to the Bond of Brothers. In the coming weeks you will begin to see an interactive discussion for men about who we are, why we care about the things we care about, and creative ways to develop stronger friendships with other guys. We’ll tackle things guys don’t normally talk about in fresh new ways to help you and your friends discover the treasure God sees in you. Ultimately, we all want better relationships with those we love, but for many of us, getting there is another story.
The content here is based on my new book, and is an invitation to join a new conversation for men. This is my first book, and who knows whether there will be another. That is not a concern for me, but what I do care about is having strong friendships, spiritual friendships, and a growing sense and reality of being alive.
Our stories reveal much about who we are, our identity, what we ultimately become, and what we invest our lives in. Anyone ever tell you how important your story is both as a context in which to understand the real you, and as a blessing you can pass along to your family and friends? We’ll explore that rich stream of life in you as well.
Most guys live in an assortment of guilt, shame, sorrow and sadness….and of course, secrets. Secrets we believe are unique. What a surprise it is to discover others with similar struggles, so similar, in fact, that when I speak honestly, it is as though I am reading the mail of the guy next to me….not completely, not in all the specific detail, but close enough to know no man is truly alone. That we think we are is part of the deception of the paradigm we have constructed for ourselves, and part of what has been handed to us by the society we live in. This alienation often comes to us through our families and betrayal by those we trusted, the very tributaries that ought to bring us life.
That’s where most of us get stuck. Silent. We don’t know what to say or do about that awful sense of emptiness inside. But the first principle of friendship is authenticity, and a genuine awareness of yourself and the common streams that run through all men. Knowing that what is inside of you is experienced by all men is one of the keys to unlocking the doors to the wide world of friendship…and dare we say it, healthy manhood.
A little over four years ago, a friend of mine and I started a men’s Dinner and Conversation group that meets about once a month. The premise: Men don’t talk about what they really care about, but when they do, amazing things start to happen. Such as fun. Authentic friendships. Deep help and understanding when we are in our sorrows and The Tough Years. Sharing the stories that make up our lives including the good, the bad and the ugly. And the company of men where there is conversation beyond sports, weather and work chatter. Stick with us here for this conversation and we’ll give you a few tools to help start your own group.
In the coming weeks you’ll find blogs, comments, and helpful insights from some of my friends around the world who are writers, thinkers and brothers. You’ll be delighted and probably amazed to hear what they have to say, what they’ve been through.
Jesus said he came to set captives free, and that truth sets us free. I’m game. What about you?
It’s time we stop pretending we don’t know each other.
Wes Yoder. Just his name brings these words to mind…Wise. Humble. Gracious. Patient. Talented. Generous. Authentic. Whatever he wants to teach us, I’m listening.
I’ve been on a personal quest to try to understand myself better, and by doing so, understand man better. The why? and how come of things related to grown up men has been my persistance, and only so that I can relate better not only with friends, but with everyone dear to me, and perhaps everything not only horizontally but also vertically. I just turned 61 years old, and have been out of my only ACTS mens retreat for about a year now, and I continue to not being able to “crack” the surface of toughness that most of my retreatant friends bring to our post-retreat meetings. These meetings supposedly are scheduled so that we can continue to grow not only in our understanding of each other, but also and primordially in our personal relationships, be that with our friends, relatives, wives, God, etc., but basically, as far as I can see, not one of us have changed enough, to the naked eye, as to being able to affect great changes to any one of us relationships. In other words, man’s protective shield is very hard to crack, regardless of the environment that he may find himself in.
I have not been able to get the book as yet, but when I do and read it, I will try to comment on it right here. Sergio.
My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!
I’ve been on a personal quest to try to understand myself better, and by doing so, understand man better. The why? and how come of things related to grown up men has been my persistance, and only so that I can relate better not only with friends, but with everyone dear to me, and perhaps everything not only horizontally but also vertically. I just turned 61 years old, and have been out of my only ACTS mens retreat for about a year now, and I continue to not being able to “crack” the surface of toughness that most of my retreatant friends bring to our post-retreat meetings. These meetings supposedly are scheduled so that we can continue to grow not only in our understanding of each other, but also and primordially in our personal relationships, be that with our friends, relatives, wives, God, etc., but basically, as far as I can see, not one of us have changed enough, to the naked eye, as to being able to affect great changes to any one of us relationships. In other words, man’s protective shield is very hard to crack, regardless of the environment that he may find himself in.
I have not been able to get the book as yet, but when I do and read it, I will try to comment on it right here. Sergio.
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